11 March 2015
How to suggest a Pre-Nuptial Agreement to your partner
How do you ask your partner for a pre-nuptial agreement? Despite premarital agreements becoming more and more common, suggesting a pre-nuptial agreement is still considered a taboo for many, but why?
Pre-nuptial agreements offer partners certainty if things don’t work out and can save people from so much potential heartbreak by making separation a more straightforward and amicable process. So here’s some advice on when, where and how to suggest a pre-nuptial agreement with your partner.
When Should I Discuss a Pre-Nuptial Agreement?
It is crucial to talk about pre-nuptials agreements early on in a relationship, but when is the right time to broach what might be an uncomfortable subject? Clearly asking your partner just before the wedding would be ill-advised! It may also mean that your pre-nuptial agreement is not upheld.
You should bear in mind that pre-nuptial agreements can take many months to negotiate depending on the complexity of the terms and you should certainly have it finalised before you send out your wedding invites.
Ideally you should start discussions as to whether a pre-nuptial agreement is right for you before your engagement. As your relationship gets more serious so can your conversations.
Where Should I Discuss a Pre-Nuptial Agreement?
Consider having conversations about pre-marital agreements somewhere neutral where you are both mentally and physically comfortable. This could be out on a walk or sat on the sofa at home.
Another neutral setting in which it might be appropriate to discuss how you both feel regarding a pre-nuptial agreement might be in a premarital religious counselling session.
Young couples might find that a conversation about repaying student loans leads nicely into talks about pre-nuptial agreements, perhaps agreeing that each should be protected from the others debt.
Likewise if you are considering estate planning or making a will in advance of your wedding this could be the perfect time for you and your partner to consider a Pre-Nuptial Agreement.
How do I bring up the Subject of a Pre-Nuptial Agreement?
Rather than causing your partner to worry that you want a pre-nuptial agreement because you are not committed to the marriage or because you suspect them of being in the relationship for the money try to see it as safeguarding your relationship. Another way to help you both look at it in a positive way is that it can help you determine how you both define equality in your partnership.
You can use a pre-nuptial agreement to establish the value of non-monetary contributions to marriage such as child care and career sacrifices. Pre-marital agreements should not discredit the hard work of a lower earning partner.
With any discussions around pre-nuptial agreements it’s always advisable to seek professional help.
Our Legal Guide to Prenups and Postnups which you can download and print can provide more details.
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