Some people may have seen the story, reported on the Huffington Post, of the groom-to-be who after getting cold feet used pretending to have died as a way to end the relationship. Understandably, emotions are said to have run high when his distraught would-be wife discovered the deceit.
It's suggested that the manner of ending the relationship has caused far more pain and distress that the fact the relationship was to end. The story marks a simple point which we often see as Divorce Solicitors - that the way of handling the break up can dictate the nature and tone of everything that follows, and for that reason, is worthy of careful thought and planning.
A thoughtless or callous dumping can make any attempts at a civil or simple divorce, financial settlement or arrangements for children out of the question, as well as damaging relationships with friends and family who feel compelled to take sides, in a way that would not be needed in more amicable circumstances.
The report explains that in this case, the betrothed got cold feet at the prospect of committing to a marriage but panicked and did not know how to tell his partner that he could no longer go through with it. Apparently he then came to the conclusion that it would be less hurtful for her to believe he had died, than to be honest that he was no longer happy in the relationship.
With just a few short weeks before the wedding day, he telephoned his fiancé, pretending to be a family member, and informed her that her beloved had committed suicide by jumping into the path of an on coming car (yes, really). It was only when the distraught and grieving woman called his parents to speak to them that the truth came out and she discovered he was in fact alive and well and that she had been dumped.
The variety of break up stories that our team of Divorce Solicitors have seen could run on for days, but there is one very clear common factor in them all which is - the nastier the way the relationship ends, the nastier and harder dealing with the consequences becomes.
This is especially important to consider when children are involved, and the lasting effects of a painful ending can run for many, many years, with a knee-jerk ending being the cause of regret for a long time. Taking what seems the easy way out can in fact be much, much harder in the long run.
Cara Nuttall is a Senior Family Law & Divorce Solicitor at Slater and Gordon Lawyers in Manchester.
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