14 September 2011
Falling out of love trumped infidelity as a reason for divorce
It has been reported that many couples now survive infidelity and it is in fact more common to divorce as a result of boredom rather than the dramas of screaming at each other, the slamming of doors and the hurling of crockery. Boredom being the sinking feeling at the idea of turning old and grey with your spouse; the marriage having simply petered out.
For 2011, figures show that when it comes to reasons for instigating a divorce, falling out of love beat infidelity by 2%. It seems that people are following in the footsteps of an increasing number of celebrities putting up with alleged affairs in their relationship and that this is starting to have an effect on the behaviour of couples affected by extra marital affairs. There are now more marriages than before surviving a bout of infidelity. Can people really be using the relationships of celebrities such as Cheryl Cole (who famously took her husband, Ashley Cole back when he allegedly cheated on her) as templates for their own marriages? It’s a scary thought!
It has been reported that it is perhaps more likely that couples have come to realise that infidelity needn’t inevitably mean the end of a marriage. Of course, a reaction to infidelity is subjective, however it must be related to falling out of love as a person is not unfaithful to a person they are madly in love with. Perhaps boredom stems from the pressure of marriage and the ridiculous expectations of what it is to be man and wife.
Today, the pressure to have the best day of your life has reached ludicrous levels and people seem to believe that once married, their relationship will resemble the one in their favourite romcom or romantic novel where they will live happily ever after. Nowadays, people are not searching for the cosy familiarity of being a couple; that’s tedious! Instead it seems the delusional modern idea is that over familiarity and being comfortable like a pair of old beloved slippers is tedious. It’s the waking up in the morning, turning your head towards the pillow next to yours and thinking, "Oh, its still you. There you still are. And there you will be, till death us do part".
It has been suggested that may be it’s time to engage with the thought that marriage isn’t a fabulous feast of excitement and bliss but instead like mashed potato – bland, unoriginal, nourishing and comfortable.
Georgina Chase is a Family & Divorce Solicitor at Slater and Gordon Lawyers. For a free initial consultation call freephone 0808 175 8000 or contact us online and we will call you.
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