The emotional and legal weight of being the executor of a will

Acting as an executor is a unique responsibility: you’re coping with grief while handling the practical task of dealing with your loved one’s estate. You’re responsible for upholding the deceased’s final wishes and ensuring every named beneficiary receives their inheritance.

Having experienced the loss of a loved one, it is important to mourn the loss and take time to step back and try to heal. This process is not always helped by having a demanding legal responsibility on your shoulders, such as being the executor of a will.

The executor is required to:

• Register the death of the deceased person,
• Announce the death, especially to all beneficiaries,
• Apply for probate,
• Maintain the deceased’s property and assets, referred to as their ‘estate’,
• Pay any debts, expenses or bills owed,
• Sort out inheritance tax if it is due,
• Value and distribute the estate,
• Appear in court if necessary.

Taking on the role of an executor is a responsibility that often comes with significant emotional and psychological challenges. Whilst there are many challenges in the legal responsibilities and the managing of family dynamics and beneficiary expectations, it is often the grief and emotional turmoil that proves the most challenging. There is an expectation placed on the executor to push through the grief and ensure legal obligations and requirements are met. During this time of extreme emotional turbulence, it is completely understandable that the executor may need help from experienced wills and probate solicitors.

It is important to remember that you need to look after yourself as the executor. To help balance the emotional demand and legal demand, try:

• Seeking support: lean on family, friends, or perhaps a professional counsellor for emotional support. Sharing your feelings can help you cope with the stress and your grief.
• Taking breaks: estate administration and being an executor can be difficult Remember to take breaks and step away from your responsibilities when you need to recharge. It will help you more in the long run.
• Giving yourself realistic expectations: this process will take time, and it is okay if you do not have all the answers right away or know what to do all the time. Be patient with yourself and seek professional help in your duties as an executor if needed.