17 September 2015
Why Conscious Uncoupling Is Actually a Good Idea
How does the term ‘conscious uncoupling’ make you feel? Annoyed? Confused? Or perhaps just indifferent? When you look at the benefits of amicable separation, is conscious uncoupling really such a bad idea?
Initially, there was a negative reaction to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin describing their divorce as a conscious uncoupling. They were victim to mockery and accused of being pretentious. However, the benefits of staying friends with your ex are numerous when it comes to the divorce process and to life after you have separated, especially if you have children. The phrase has also stayed in the public domain ever since it blew up on Twitter after the announcement of their divorce was first posted on Gwyneth’s lifestyle website Goop in March 2014.
So did celebrity couple Gwyneth and Chris really deserve such open derision? Gwyneth didn’t even write the term herself. The title of her announcement was written by the editor of her website and she borrowed it from a psychologist. If anything Gwyneth just helped to popularise the term, and is that such a bad thing? Especially if it encourages more couples to keep their relationship amicable after separation for the sake of their children.
Since the infamous ‘conscious uncoupling’ announcement was made in 2014, couples who are going through a divorce have been able to use the Paltrow-Martin split as an example of how to keep things amicable. According to our recent survey, 64% of separated couples want to maintain a good relationship with their ex after their divorce and even more (68%) said they would happily spend time with them.
A major benefit of an amicable divorce is that it is likely to impact less on your children than if you are engaged in a court battle with your partner and are constantly arguing or criticising each other in front of your children. By working together to reach the outcomes you need it is also likely to enable the divorce process to go through more smoothly. If you have to take matters to court it can be costly, but if you can get along then you might be able to use mediation or collaborative law to establish your children’s arrangements or sort out your finances on separation.
The most common reasons why people want to keep things amicable? It’s simple: to make things easier for their children and also to help make the divorce process easier.
Vicki McLynn is a Principal Family Lawyer at Slater and Gordon Lawyers in Manchester.
If you are thinking about getting a divorce and want to keep it amicable, we can help. Slater and Gordon Lawyers specialise in collaborative law and mediation. We can help you sort out your divorce in the way best suited to your situation if you call us on freephone 0800 916 9055 or contact us online.