2 children on sofa in background with parents arguing in foreground - divorce

Child arrangements in divorce

At what age can a child choose which parent to live with?

Our family law experts provide legal guidance on the appropriate age for your child to decide which parent they want to live with.


18 September 2024

The question of who the children are going to live with after a divorce can be a difficult one to answer. As children get older and more mature, they may inevitably want more of a say in who they want to live with.

From the age of 16, a child can legally decide which parent they would like to live with. This may extend to 17 or 18 if a child arrangement order is already in place which specifies where they should live. If the child is under 16, the decision is a joint one for the parents to agree on, but if they cannot agree, the court makes the decision.

In family law proceedings, the overarching consideration is always, ‘what is best for the child?’ Due to this, the court must consider the criteria forming the welfare checklist contained in Section 1(3) Children Act 1989.

Children's welfare criteria

When a court addresses any matter concerning the upbringing of a child, the child’s welfare shall be the court’s paramount consideration. The criteria for the welfare checklist include:

  • The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child.
  • The child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs.
  • The effect on the child if circumstances changed because of the court’s decision.
  • The child’s age, sex, backgrounds, and any other characteristics which will be relevant to the court’s decision.
  • Any harm the child has suffered or at risk of suffering.
  • The capability of the child’s parents (or any other person the courts find relevant) to meeting the child’s needs.
  • The powers available to the court in the given proceedings.

Family Court Advisory and Support Service

While children are not usually asked to attend court, or to speak to lawyers or a judge, it can happen in the right circumstances. The children will speak with the Family Court Advisory and Support Service, where they are asked in an appropriate manner, how they feel about any existing arrangements and whether they would like to spend more or less time with either parent.

Based on these conversations, the Family Court Advisory and Support Service can issue a report to the court containing recommendations based on what the children have said. The older the child, the more weight is given to their views. But they should not overlook the other criteria in the welfare checklist.

How can Slater and Gordon help

Our expert family lawyers provide comprehensive confidential family legal advice tailored to individual circumstances, on divorce, separation, finances, child arrangements, cohabitation disputes and nuptial agreements. With officers located across the UK, our family lawyers are on hand to help support you and your family during what can be a difficult time.

Contact us online today for help with your next steps.

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