06 August 2013
Is it truly possible to forgive an affair?
The Mail Online features an interesting article by Helen Sampson which analyses her differing reactions to her husband’s affair over a number of years, before then explaining how, when they eventually did Separate, she dealt with it.
As many people know, an affair (or adultery, as it is termed) is one of five possible issues upon which a Divorce petition can be based. In most polls it is cited as being the second most common ground for divorce, after unreasonable behaviour. As Divorce Solicitors, it is not uncommon for us to see clients who have initially tried to make a marriage work after an affair, but have subsequently found it impossible to do so, months or even sometimes several years down the line, if trust cannot be re-established.
Helen explains how initially, she was desperate to salvage the marriage and took her husband back, even after he had spent time living with another woman. However, a year or so later, she realised that the fundamental basis of their marriage had been lost and left.
Helen’s story is also unusual in the way she ended the marriage. She reports that she walked out of the matrimonial home and simply never went back. She did not even send her husband a message to say she had left, and it was not, according to the article, until 18 months had passed that he contacted her. She explains that she left all her belongings, even those with sentimental value, at the house and has never sought to have them back. For her, leaving was about starting fresh and not looking back on her “old life.”
While this may appear quite shocking to some, the article is an interesting insight into the many different ways in which people deal with Relationship Breakdown. Again, in our work, we see the entire range of emotions and the whole spectrum of behaviour when it comes to dealing with the end of a relationship. A good divorce lawyer can point a client in the direction of useful sources, information and help, to access if they need or want to, but ultimately allow a client to deal with things in their own way, whilst advising on the possible consequences of any particular course of action.